Having trouble building trust in yourself or partner? Trust is a fundamental building block in a relationship; however, it is important to have trust in one’s self. It is also interesting to know that individuals who do not trust themselves often project this lack of trust upon others. By building a basic level of trust within one’s self, one can begin to experience more satisfying and emotionally close relationships. The following ideas are from the book Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends by Dr. Bruce Fisher and Virginia Satir. The book speaks of assessment and treatment views regarding the breakdown of trust in a love relationship as a common theme.

To build trust, a couple must first have good communication skills. Learning good communication skills can strengthen an individual’s ability to express their own needs, and listening to their partner’s needs.

  • The quickest way to improve communication skills is by starting to use “I” messages. Four types of this communication can be starting sentences out with the following four: I think, I feel, I want and I will. These phrases help to separate our thoughts from our feelings and to use two types of communication for each.
  • Another trust building exercise is to be honest with one’s self.

If one is hurting, the partner may not be aware, and problems cannot be dealt with if they remain hidden. When couples reveal their fears to one another, they may be surprised in how similarly they may be feeling. One must also remember that we have to take risks in order to learn to trust. Some risks may backfire, but they are necessary to become close and experience intimacy.

Other quick ideas for rebuilding trust include

  • Trust exercise where one partner may catch the other partner to help strengthen the relationship
  • Using decks of cards with questions you have written about your partner regarding positive things you would like to know about them

Journaling on a road to self-discovery that may assist one in being able to know one’s self and then in turn, be able to share that with their partner.


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